thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize