I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize