He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
