i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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