Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I met the friendliest cop last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
