$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its not stalking. its research.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
