He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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