The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
