I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
