normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I want to be your penis for a week.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
