i need an iv and a liver transplant
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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