Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
