i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
