Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
