He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
