I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
