why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
