So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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