ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
