God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
