The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
