I look better un-naked...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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