Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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