awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
