Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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