I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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