Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize