she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
