ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
