I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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