If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
