omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
