I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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