im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
