So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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