doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
