Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
