By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
