There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
