I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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