You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You're a waste of cheezeits
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
