I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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