She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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