One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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