so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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