Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
