His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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