And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
