the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
