you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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