i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
