thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
