You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
