I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
