i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
