I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
