Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
