i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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