Where is the hickey?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize