Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
