i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
