are you still at the devil's house?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
