My brain says no but my pants say off.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
