Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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