I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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